Scream if you hear me

Couldn't comprehend like why some things don't seem the way it seems..I really don't understand why some things DO happen & some stuff don't......recently got mistaken for looking at people (in which some may view it as having a jaw-dropping experience or struck with awe at someone...) while searching for someone in particular to help my cg member...I looked into the eyes of the "friend" & gave him the disappointed eye. I meant like we have spent some considerable time together, you should've known me better than to act in such a way. I have better things to do than to go into some lovesick trauma syndrome.

I don't fall into such a syndrome by the way...that's for boys in high school. It actually gets on my nerve when people try to "fix" me into a character-fit or even more boldly, classify me like I'm of a different variant of a human...even after knowing me all these years.

"ya..that's so Jules..."

Questioning myself like why do I act the way I do...AM i being silly or was it just an act? Do I need to mature/grow up? Is it A child-like inner self that is a PART of me... and not childish-ness which some may comment. It's not an issue of self-esteem but I'm realising that some comments made either audible or through actions, followed by the way i react could sometimes mean it could be a stage of spiritual warfare which I do find quite difficult to swallow (probably quite possibly true nonetheless with all that's happening lately...)

I do still have questions of self-identity despite my age...especially when duty calls..what do I do when stuff happens around me..how I react...I ask myself at times (though I'm invested with the powers that be) whether I should reprimand the old man smoking at the bus stop. Do I? After all he's an old man...

What do I do when I lose my powers...? I mean..what's a superhero if one doesn't have those powers anymore?

Amusingly, after I type all these out, most of the questions in the 5 paras above are answered. =)

Though some stuff can't really be fixed or rectified at this point of time & quite possibly not in the near future which feels quite far when u're 23, topped with getting unnecessary attention one way or the other...even with spiritual warfare being waged on even as I type...replays of nasty words or stumbling actions brought upon me by people from my cg to even fellow leaders...This only fuels me now in the knowledge that I need to place my foundations in Him,who is immovable, always there for us, unchanging with the times, for He is in control.

I shall live up to my alias...The Juggernaut.
(I don't wear a red costume by the way..but a navy blue one =P )

I will not let anyone stop me from finishing this race well that God has set me apart for!

I'll be the unstoppable Juggernaut!



Things to do for the week:

0. Spend good quantified (jules' new word) quality with God tonight
0.5 Pray for Charles, Tiffe,Joanna,Abel, Zu Xian, Eu Jin, Limmy for a fruitful time of rest & study
0.75 Send out encouragement sms to CG.

1. Type out dialogue notes taken with Bukit Merah
2. '' '' '' '' '' '' Jurong East
3. Change Commander's Ink cartridge
4. Update Dialogues taken during FY 2006
5. Create new Commander's Dialogue Calendar.
6. Go to my hideout =)
6.5 Write my cards at the hideout.
7. Create new contact groupings for Ripples.
8. Read finish my book that i've started
9. Take my DISC Test & follow up on Acct partner.


So many more but that's it for now...time for start the first item going. =)

Listening to " I can only imagine - Mercyme" on Beryl's blog.

One word to describe it : Touching.